When the Weight of Love and Loss Meet after 5 months HEAVY

Scripture: Psalm 23:4

“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for You are with me. Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.”

Lately I have been feeling disconnected from the Word. It feels like something has been trying to disrupt my spirit and pull me away from the very place where my strength comes from. I stopped encouraging my sisters and friends over the last 2 weeks or so! Still, even with the heaviness pressing on my heart, I continue to push through. I remind myself that God meets me in the places where I feel empty. He speaks even when my heart feels quiet. He reaches for me even when my spirit feels worn down.

For fourteen years I cared for my daughter through sickness and challenges that many will never understand. Every appointment, every hospital stay, every sleepless night, every moment of watching over her was done with love. It became a part of my heartbeat. It shaped my days and my nights. It shaped the woman I am. Caring for her was not a burden. It was an honor that I will cherish forever.

Now that she has transitioned, the heartache feels heavier than anything I have ever carried. This last month especially has pressed against places in me that I did not even know were tender. Grief has a way of surprising you. It reaches into moments where you once stood strong and suddenly you feel weak. It turns ordinary days into reminders of what was lost. It makes you feel disconnected from the world around you and even from yourself.

Yet Psalm 23:4 speaks directly into this valley. It reminds me that I am not walking through it alone. God is not watching me from a distance. He is walking beside me. He is steadying my steps when my strength feels gone. He is comforting me when memories rise up without warning. He is holding my heart when it aches for my daughter’s voice, her presence, her light.

I spent fourteen years fighting for her, advocating for her, loving her, and covering her. Now God is fighting for me. He is covering me the same way I covered her. His rod protects me. His staff guides me. His presence surrounds me.

There is pain. There is heartbreak. There is a love that will always remain. And in the middle of all of it, God is still faithful. He is still present. He is still near to the brokenhearted.

I am walking through this valley one breath at a time. And even though my heart feels heavy, I know that God is lifting me in ways I cannot see. I know that He will carry me when I feel like I cannot carry myself. I know that my daughter’s legacy continues to shine and that her story is still touching lives.

Prayer

Father, You know the weight I carry. You know the years I poured into my daughter with love, strength, and sacrifice. You know the depth of this grief and the pain of this separation. Walk with me today. Hold me in the moments when the memories become overwhelming. Comfort my heart as only You can. Remind me that my daughter is resting in Your perfect peace and that You are still with me in this valley. Give me strength for today and hope for tomorrow. Amen.