When Lived Experience Becomes Legacy

The UniqMom Dissertation: 14 Years of Love, Advocacy & Lessons No Classroom Could Teach

For 14 years, I loved and cared for a daughter whose journey required me to learn things I never imagined I would need to know. There was no syllabus handed to me, no orientation, no textbook, and no professor standing at the front of the room telling me what would be on the test. Life simply said, “Learn.” So I did.

I learned medical terminology because I needed to understand what was happening with my child. I learned to communicate with doctors, nurses, therapists, educators, specialists, and countless other professionals. I learned how to advocate, how to research, how to ask the right questions, and how to keep asking when I didn’t understand the answer. I learned how to walk into rooms full of professionals and remember that while they may have been experts in their fields, I was the expert on my daughter. That confidence didn’t happen overnight. It was built through experience.

The UniqMom Dissertation

When I think about those 14 years, I can’t help but call it my UniqMom Dissertation, because baby, I have done some research! As a mother of three, with the help and partnership of my husband, I completed what I now call my own real-life capstone projects. We raised a family while simultaneously navigating two very different lives. The everyday responsibilities of parenthood and the complex world that came with being a medical family.

I built a professional portfolio without even realizing I was building one: advocacy, leadership, care coordination, community service, resource navigation, parent support, program development, problem-solving, organization, communication, and research. And let’s not forget the greatest subject of them all: LOVE. A love that taught me how to keep showing up, made me study harder, taught me to pay attention to the smallest details, and showed me just how powerful a mother’s voice can become when her child needs her.

Much of my strategic and organizational knowledge became self-taught because necessity demanded it. I researched, connected resources, learned systems, and figured things out along the way. Eventually, those lessons traveled beyond the walls of our home. Lived experience became advocacy. Advocacy became service. Service became purpose. And purpose began becoming legacy.

She Called Me Doctor First

But here is the part that makes this recognition hit my heart differently. Before an honorary doctorate was ever attached to my story, Mya had already given me the title. She would call me “Mommy Dr. Parmer.” 👩🏾‍⚕️ Those were her words. At the time, it was simply Mya being Mya. Now? Whew. I hear it completely differently.

My baby saw something in me. To her, Mommy knew what to do. Mommy knew the appointments and routines. Mommy knew the questions to ask. Mommy paid attention. Mommy advocated. Mommy researched. Mommy learned. But most importantly, Mommy knew her. Maybe that’s why this moment feels so full circle. Before anybody thought about honoring me with a degree, my daughter had already honored me with something far greater, her trust. She called me Doctor first.

Fourteen Years of Real Love

This recognition represents so much more to me than letters before or after a name. It represents 14 years of real love. 14 years of showing up, learning, advocating, being stretched, figuring things out, celebrating victories that other people may never have understood, and being a UniqMom. Those 14 years changed me. They helped shape the woman, advocate, leader, founder, and mother I am today.

That’s why I don’t receive this recognition as something that suddenly validates my life or makes my work important. The work was already important. Mya was important. My family was important. Every family I’ve had the opportunity to serve was important. This honorary doctorate simply recognizes a journey that was already being lived.

When Lived Experience Becomes Legacy

One of the greatest lessons I have learned is that sometimes we are being prepared while we are simply trying to survive the assignment in front of us. I didn’t know that advocating for my daughter was developing leadership in me. I didn’t know that researching resources would later help me support other families. I didn’t know that navigating complex systems would teach me how to build programs. I didn’t know that being a UniqMom would eventually become part of the foundation for the Uniqly Made Foundation. I was simply being Mya’s Mommy.

That’s what makes this recognition so emotional. Mya isn’t physically here for me to look over and say, “Girl, you were right! Mommy Dr. Parmer!” 😂 But I carry her into this moment. I carry every lesson, every memory, every piece of wisdom motherhood gave me, every experience that taught me how to advocate, and every family our journey has allowed me to reach. I carry her legacy.

This One, I Will Forever Cherish

So yes, this is BIG for me.  Not because of glory. Not because of fame. Not because I need another title. It’s big because sometimes recognition gives you an opportunity to turn around and finally see how far you’ve come.

I see the young mother who had no idea what she was about to learn. I see the wife and mother trying to balance three children, family, work, appointments, responsibilities, and life. I see the advocate learning to use her voice. I see the woman teaching herself what she needed to know because her child was depending on her. I see the founder taking lived experience and turning it into something that could serve somebody else.

And I see Mya. Always Mya. 🦋 My greatest little teacher. The little girl who looked at her mommy and somehow saw a doctor long before an honorary degree ever entered the conversation. “Mya, Mommy did it.” Not a traditional dissertation, a UniqMom Dissertation. Written over 14 years. Researched through experience. Defended through advocacy. Completed through perseverance. And bound together by unconditional love.

Because sometimes, lived experience becomes purpose. Purpose becomes service. Service becomes impact. And impact becomes legacy.

This is The UniqMom Dissertation.

And Mya?

You called me “Mommy Dr. Parmer” first. 👩🏾‍⚕️📜🦋