The Power of Pen and Paper in My Grief Journey

I’ve been journaling since I was a little girl. Back then, it was just a way to get my thoughts out, but over the years it became my lifeline. When you’re grieving, it’s hard to explain to others what’s really going on inside. People ask how you’re doing, and sometimes you don’t even know the answer yourself. But when you put pen to paper, there’s no pressure to explain it perfectly, you just let it flow. Writing gives you space to be honest, raw, and free.

At 21, I stepped into motherhood and grief at the same time. I was blessed with twins. My son, Jahmari, perfectly healthy, and my daughter, Jahmya, my UniqWarrior, born with a congenital heart defect (CHD), later developing various medical complexities. I found myself grieving the “normal motherhood” I had dreamed about, while learning how to be STRONG for both of them. I loved being a mother, but I was also mourning what I thought motherhood WOULD and SHOULD look like.

Then at 25, I lost my own mother. That grief cut me to my core in a different way. I longed for her wisdom and comfort, especially as I was still figuring out motherhood myself. And at 36, I faced the unimaginable, the loss of the very baby who had made me a mother. Each stage of my life has been marked by a different kind of grief, and each time, journaling helped me survive it.

When I look back through my journals, I can see the fingerprints of God. I can see how He carried me, how He truly “bound up my wounds and healed my heart.” As Psalm 147:3 says: “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”Journaling became more than just writing, it became my proof of progress, my reminder that even in the darkest moments, healing was happening.

Today, I proudly call myself the UniqMom. My children and my journey through grief have shaped me into her. Journaling is how I honor that journey. It’s where I turn my pain into testimony, and where I remind myself that even broken hearts can still keep beating with purpose.

If you’re walking through grief, I encourage you to try writing. Your words don’t have to make sense, and you don’t have to share them with anyone. Just let them be yours. One day, you’ll look back and see not just your pain, but also your strength and maybe even glimpses of healing you didn’t realize were already there.