Thanksgiving in the Middle of Grief

Today holds a weight and a warmth that my heart is still learning how to carry. Thanksgiving a day that has always been filled with gratitude family laughter and love now shares a space with another truth. Today marks six months since my beautiful Jahmya transitioned. November 27th. A date that feels tender sacred and heavy all at once.

When I opened my eyes this morning I wasn’t sure how I would feel. I didn’t know if grief would sit on my chest or if gratitude would lead the day. But God in His own soft way allowed both to exist together. I woke up grieving and grateful at the same time and somehow it all made sense.

There was a quiet joy in my spirit that I can only describe as Jahmya’s presence. My darkness felt lighter my heaviness felt held and my home felt filled with her warmth her sweetness her light. It felt as if she whispered over the house Mommy all is well today and I believed her.

This morning for the first time in six months I went through her things. I touched memories I held moments I cried and I smiled. Some items I kept close those sacred treasures that only a mother’s heart can understand. Others I gently placed in bags not because they are any less special but because Jahmya was blessed with so much and I want her abundance to bless someone else. There is something healing about giving especially when it flows from her legacy.

On my way to my in laws house I stopped at Price Choice to grab some plastic utensils (it was a pack up type of THANKSGIVING lol) and God met me right at the entrance of the store which gave the rain time to slack up. I ran into an old neighbor who hadn’t seen me in a long time. She looked at me with so much sincerity and laid a word on me that my heart desperately needed.

She reminded me of the story of Peter from the Bible. Peter stepped out of the boat and walked on water as long as he kept his eyes on Jesus. The moment he became overwhelmed by the wind and the waves he began to sink but Jesus reached for him immediately. She told me that grief feels the same way. Some days we feel steady and some days the waves feel too strong but Jesus is always close enough to catch us. She reminded me that it is ok not to be ok and that even when I feel like I am sinking God still reaches His hand toward me and holds me up. Grief has no rules and that strength is not pretending but allowing yourself to feel. That moment felt like a God sent hug exactly when I needed it.

I am grateful for the family God has blessed me with.

Grateful for my other two children who I love beyond words. Grateful for my husband and family in Love.

Grateful for my family and love ones who checked in, who texted, who called, who simply held space for me today without needing to fix anything. Grateful for my extended family & bestie who cooked for me, invited me over, made room for me and reminded me that grief does not disqualify me from love.

Today I felt seen. I felt held. I felt supported. I felt surrounded.

This Thanksgiving wasn’t perfect. It was real. It was emotional. It was tender. It was healing. And through it all I kept reminding myself that even though I do not have my sweet Jahmya here in body her spirit her love and her essence live in every breath of my day.

Her light continues to guide me.

Her love continues to shape me.

Her legacy continues to push me forward.

And for that I am grateful.

Grief and gratitude can coexist. Today showed me that. And even on the hardest days love remains the strongest force in the room.

Heavenly Father, thank You for carrying me through a day I did not know how to face. Thank You for holding my heart when the weight felt too heavy and for surrounding me with reminders of Your love. Thank You for the strength You continue to pour into me even when I feel empty and for the quiet peace that meets me in the middle of my grief. Lord, I give You glory for keeping me, for lifting me, and for allowing Your light to shine through even the darkest moments. Thank You for the gift of Jahmya’s life and the way her spirit continues to move, comfort, and guide me. Thank You for my family, my children, and every person You used today to remind me that I am not alone. As I continue navigating through my journey, help me trust You more, lean on You deeper, and find rest in Your presence. May everything I walk through bring You glory, and may Your grace continue to carry me day by day. Amen.